Hey Bo, This Gift Is Kinda Cheesy
by KuruHoshuRin
Summary: Prompt - Bokuroo: Someone buys a lot of cheeseballs Two years ago, Bokuto started a Christmas Prank War. This year his prank involves cheeseballs and really isn't a prank at all. Actually none of these are pranks. They're just making each other's lives a living hell, but they love each other so it's ok.


At 3 am on Christmas Eve you would expect a Walmart to be empty, however, Bokuto soon found out that he had been mistaken. There were quite a lot of people there, like him, doing last minute Christmas shopping. Well, when he said Christmas shopping, it was more of a Christmas Prank shopping.

His Christmas Prank War had started 2 years ago after he sat outside Kuroo's room for three hours banging pots and pans screaming "SANTA'S HERE BITCH!" while laughing hystericaly. Kuroo had unfortunately taken this as a challenge, and the next year Bokuto was faced with a worse and more emotionally scarring prank. Kuroo had thought it would be a fun idea to bring in a real live owl into the house from outside. It was not, in fact, a fun idea, as the owl soon ended up getting caught in the christmas lights. That Christmas had ended with Animal Control being called and Kuroo trying to comfort a crying Bokuto. The owl had been fine in the end, but Bokuto swore he could still hear the distressed hooting of the Christmas Owl to this day.

Bokuto had come to this very Walmart for one purpose and one purpose only. Buying the entire stock of cheeseballs.

That was the entirety of his prank this year, just a lot of cheeseballs. He'd thought of it that night, and just rolled with it. He had waited until Kuroo fell asleep, then he snuck out the bedroom and fucked right off to Walmart.

Now he was here, having a staring contest with the recently stocked shelf of 28 oz. jars of UTZ Cheeseballs. This was absolutely perfect. There were so many cheeseballs. So many.

Luckily he'd brought two shopping carts, because there ended up being 43 jars of cheeseballs. Not even questioning how they fit that many jars of cheeseballs on the shelf, he wandered over to the wrapping paper section. After all, 43 jars of cheeseballs would probably take a lot of wrapping paper to cover them all. Even if they didn't, he still wanted to be prepared for anything involving his new cheeseball children.

He decided on 3 packs of 8 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper. This was probably overkill, but, he thought, he needed as much wrapping paper as he could find if he wanted to wrap these sons of bitches.

When he got to the checkout, he received weird, slightly frightened, looks from the cashier and the other few customers in line. However, he didn't care. He would make this cheeseball prank a reality no matter how many weird looks he got in Walmart at 3 am.

When he got out to the car, he was faced with another problem. Fitting all the cheeseballs and wrapping paper in the trunk.

When it came to wrapping the cheeseballs, it was a lot harder than one would think. The odd shape of the jars proved to be difficult to wrap, especially for Bokuto, who couldn't wrap anything for shit.

By the end, he had paper cuts all over his fingers and one on his cheek, and he'd successfully used up two of the three packs of wrapping paper. However, he could honestly say that he had become a cheeseball jar wrapping pro.

He then took all the cheeseball jars out to the tree and stuck them around it. It had ended up taking about 2 hours to do, and he regretted most of his life choices. All he wanted to do was sleep, however he couldn't help but be at least a little proud of the barricade of cheeseball jars he had made around the Christmas tree.

On Christmas morning when Kuroo woke up, he wasn't expecting to find the bed empty. He was the one who usually had to get Bokuto up on Christmas. That was how the Owl Scenario of 2015 was possible, after all. The only time he could remember Bokuto getting up before him on Christmas had been in 2014. The sound of Bokuto's voice screaming "SANTA'S HERE, BITCH" still echoed in some of his worst nightmares.

He walked out to the living room and was faced with what he could only describe as A Scene. Sitting there on the floor was his boyfriend surrounded by what seemed to be too many presents. Too many presents that all looked the same…

"Bo… What are you doing?" He questioned, walking a bit farther into the room.

"Welcome to the loooove nest," Bokuto said, gesturing to the wall of presents behind him. At this point, Kuroo was sure he'd entered hell.

"What is all of this?"

"It's your Christmas present from me!" Bokuto was bouncing up and down on the floor, clearly excited about whatever this 'gift' was. Bokuto tossed one of the wrapped presents over, saying "Here! Open them!"

When he opened the package and was face to face with a jar of cheeseballs, he immediately started laughing. He did love cheeseballs. However, when he walked over to pick up another present and was faced with even more cheeseballs along with Bokuto smirking, he knew he was in for a long day.

It had been 10 minutes, and he was on the 43rd and last jar of cheeseballs. He was right. Bokuto had literally made their living room a living hell.

The 43rd jar of cheeseballs was hurdled right into Bokuto's chest after it was unwrapped. Though it wasn't a hard throw, Bokuto still looked at Kuroo like he'd been shot through the heart.

"What was that for?"  
Kuroo gestured to the cheeseball hell surrounding him. "This. How much money did you even spend on this?"

"$293.80"

"Are you shitting me? You spent that much on cheeseballs!?"

Bokuto tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. "Merry Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas, Bo."

"I love you…"

"I love you, too"

The room was silent aside from the wrapping paper being thrown into a trash bag, when suddenly Kuroo spoke up once again.

"Hey, Bo. You know this gift is kinda cheesy, right?"

They didn't stop laughing for hours.


End file.
